Ashley was at home working on her homework when her mom, Catherine, told her she had to run to the store and pick up some vegetables for dinner. Catherine told her she would be gone for about an hour since the store was a half hour away because they lived in a secluded neighborhood outside New York City. Right after her mom left, her little brother, Luke, came strolling into to the kitchen. He came in and said, in his little three year old lisp, "Ashley can we go outside and play with a ball?"
She knew she had a lot of homework, but how could she resist his cute little face with his dark brown, curly hair, and big blue eyes, just like hers. "Okay, but just for fifteen minutes because I have a school project to finish.", she said.
He was so happy and he skipped over to get his favorite blue ball from the garage. As they were headed outside, Ashley held his hand to go down the steps leading into the cleared land next to the stream in the woods that they called their backyard. She kept throwing the ball to him and he would miss catching, but would start to crack up laughing and roll onto the ground because it would hit him in the belly.
After about twenty minutes of this going on, she suddenly realized it was late. Luke asked her if she could just throw the ball once more, and she agreed. She was in the middle of her toss when in the bushes came a rustling noise. Out came a rattlesnake that was five feet long and shaking its tail. She quickly saw the snake and picked up Luke to run inside as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, she was too late and she suddenly felt a shooting pain go up her leg, then it stopped. She looked down to see a bite mark on her leg, a snake slithering away from her, and her little brother crying on the ground.
After seeing his big sister get bit by a rattle snake, Luke ran inside to call for help. Luke pressed three numbers on the phone, beep, beep, beep.
"Hello 911, what's your emergency?", said the operator.
"Um, yes....... my big sister just got bit by a big snake!", he said.
"Okay, calm down. Help is on the way. Where do you live?"
"Uhhhh, 112 Main Rd, Ashertown, New York."
"Thank you, we will be right there.", the operator said in her monotone voice.
"Okay, but please hurry.", said Luke frantically.
Five minutes later, Ashley's leg still hurt, but now she had a headache too. The police, ambulance, and fire trucks had arrived with their sirens blaring, and Ashley couldn't take the noise anymore. She was crying before, but now the tears were pouring out because of many reasons. One, her leg hurt; two, her head hurt; and three, she was scared and nervous. Where was her mom when she needed her the most?! It had already been an hour and a half!
As Ashely was scared, she suddenly heard a scream and then a crash. Catherine had just gotten home from the store and saw the emergency medical care at her house. She came into the backyard sprinting.
"Oh honey, are you okay? What happened? I was only gone for a little bit! When did this happen? Oh I feel terrible! Are you okay?", Catherine said to her in a rant of panic.
"I...am...okay...Mom, but...my leg...really...hurts...because...I...got...bit...by...a...snake!", Ashely gasped between sobs. Seeing her mom made her cry harder.
"Oh my word!", Catherine cried.
As quickly as the emergency workers arrived, they had whisked Ashley out of her backyard on a stretcher into an ambulance heading to the nearest hospital. When Ashley was crying and Catherine was taking care of her they hadn't noticed Luke. He was crying. Quietly, but he was crying. He kept saying "Ouch, Ouch, Ouch."
Right when their mother heard him softly weeping, she suddenly demanded him, "What honey, what happened to you?"
He replied as quietly as a mouse "I hurt my arm mommy. When Ashley fell she landed on my arm and it really hurts."
Catherine's face suddenly got streaked with tears and she was silently sobbing. She could see Ashley's face through the window of the ambulance if she looked forwards and she could see Luke's little worried face in her rear view mirror if she looked up. What had happened? She was only gone for an hour and a half! She couldn't believe her eyes!
The ambulance had arrived at the hospital before Luke and Catherine, and Ashley had her wristband on. It stated:
ASHLEY DANIELLE HORTON born- April 20, 1997 RATTLESNAKE BITE
Ashley was overcome with worry because she suddenly realized the severity of her injury!
After that, everything happened so fast. She was in the emergency room being examined by the doctors. They told her she needed surgery. When she emerged from the surgery, she had multiple stitches on her leg. She was in her hospital bed in her private room. Ashley finally got the special medicine to ward off infection from the snake bite. She had to take it for three months. She slept soundly and all the way through the night. When she woke up, she found Catherine sleeping on the chair next to her bed. She had stayed the night with Ashley.
"Mom...", she whispered. "Mom... are you awake?"
"What? Oh, yes honey.", her mom said stretching like a cat.
"I love you, Mom. Thank you for staying with me."
"Oh Sweetheart, I would never leave you! I love you so much!"
After three days at the hospital, Ashley was finally ready to have visitors, other than her family. She was so excited. All her friends could finally come see her! She couldn't wait. She got out her phone and called each one.
"Hey Nicole, it's Ashley.", she said into the speaker of her brand new iPhone.
"Oh hey Ash! How are you?!", said Nicole, cheerfully.
"I'm good. I can have visitors!"
"I'll be there in ten minutes!"
"Okay, I can't wait to see you!"
"Me too! I'll be right there."
"Yay!"
"Bye.", Nicole said and clicked her phone shut.
"Bye.", Ashley said and started her conversation with her other friend, Marie before she even ended hers with Nicole.
Next, she started her phone call with Marie.
"Hey Marie, it's Ashley.", she said.
"Ashley! Oh my goodness I miss you so much! When can I come see you?", Marie screeched into the phone.
"Right now if you want!"
"Seriously!"
"Yup."
"I'll be right there!", Marie said and was already walking out the door.
Finally, she called Katelyn.
"Hello?", Katelyn said.
"Hi Katelyn, it's me!", Ashley said.
"Ash I can't wait to see you again!"
"Okay, well you can come to the hospital right now and visit me because the doctors are allowing me to have visitors!"
"Alright! I'll be right there! Bye!", Katelyn said and hung up.
"Okay, bye!", Ashley said. She couldn't wait. She hadn't seen her friends in almost a week and she missed them dearly.
They all arrived at the same time with big boxes in their hands that were covered with shiny paper and big bows. As they entered the room the best friends all screamed together : "Get well soon! We love you!". She was so happy her eyes were starting to fill with tears. Nicole, Marie, and Katelyn stayed for two hours catching Ashley up on all the drama at school, asking her about what happened, and telling her about the school work she was going to have to make up, once she got better. The nurse eventually came in , at 5 o'clock, and told the girls visiting hours were over and they were going to have to leave. They gave her a final hug, took a picture with her, and were gone.
Once her friends left, in a matter of five minutes, Ashley went from laughing so hard she could barely breath to bawling her eyes making the whole front of her hospital dress was wet. A nurse came in and told her "Darling, there's something important I have to tell you. Your medicine isn't working and you'll have to stay here for ten more days instead of five more days. I am so sorry."
"Um that's okay. I will eventually be better. Right?", Ashley said drearily.
"We are extremely sorry!", said the nurse apologetically.
"It's alright. She will be better before you know it!", Catherine said cheerfully.
Ashley slept with tears in her eyes that night. Little did she know, the ten days went by sooner than she imagined. Her friends came to visit her every other day and on the days they didn't come she was looking forward to tomorrow. Her extended family stopped in often too, so she was never lonely.
The hospital food and bed wasn't as bad as she had expected, but as a bonus her mom brought her meals most of the time so she could also enjoy her mother's amazing cooking while she had her visit at the hospital. Overall, the hospital visit was much more pleasant than she had expected.
Once her ten days were up, Ashley left the hospital as soon as she could. She walked out and never looked back and yelled over her shoulder "Bye, thank you!" She hoped it would be her last visit as a patient in the hospital. Ashley was able to return to school, but she still had to take her medicine for four more weeks untill she was completely recovered.
After two days of Ashley's return form the hospital, Luke was still complaining about his arm. He said "Mommy my arm hurts really bad." Catherine brushed it away because she thought he just wanted some attention since Ashley had been getting so much lately. Luke still kept complaining about his arm so just to be sure Catherine took him to the doctors.
As soon as the family arrived at the doctors, they took X-rays of Luke's arm. Within twenty minutes the results had come back, and Luke had broken his arm in two diffrent places. Ashley felt so bad because she knew it was her fault that he broke his arm when she dropped him, after getting bit by the snake. "Oh Luke, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!", Ashley pleaded for forgiveness.
"It's okay. I know you were really hurt!", Luke replied.
After all the drama, the Hortons went home to relax and recover. Ashley had her medicine and Luke had his bright blue cast. When Ashley finished her medication and Luke wore his cast for eight weeks, the family was finally all better and were happy to have each other to support them.
"I couldn't have a better family!" Ashley said as she leaned back into her bean bag chair.
"I agree!" said Luke and Catherine at the exact same time.
Then, they all started cracking up laughing!
praise: great detail and explaining all of the parts that were major. the plot is very intersting and the setting is very appropriate for the story. great paragraph structure and sentence veriaty
ReplyDeleteQuestions: i have no questions, i thought everything was very well explained and thought out.
Polish: the only thing that i notice was not major but there were a few sentences that did not have periods at the end, other wise it was very well writen.